DAY #3

I jumped, blindly and confidently, I believed that there would be someone there to catch me when I plummeted to the ground. I believed wrong.

I know that I would be standing, waiting for everyone that I cared about if they jumped. I’d stand with safety nets and everything, but as I fell swiftly it slowly dawned on me that there was nobody there for me. Why didn’t anyone love me like I loved them? Do I not deserve their love? Do I expect too much? Did I do something wrong? I must have, because everyone has somebody, right?

If I save everyone, who saves me?

I know that if it was the last five minutes of the world I would call you, but the line would be busy because you would be talking to her.

When I talk about my problems, they sound insignificant compared to everyone else’s, so I don’t talk anymore. When I love someone they love somebody else more than they love me, so I don’t love anymore. When I prioritise someone, they take me for granted, so I try not to care. You might call this selfish but I call it self preservation, but hey, what do I know?

6 thoughts on “DAY #3

  1. Firstly, I really like your blog statement. I write to de-stress too. It really does help! I’m so glad that you found WordPress and that we’ve found each others’ blogs.

    I’m older than you, but I can relate to almost everything you wrote in this post. I will say that I have a very supportive and loving husband, but I feel like the rest of my family has forgotten about me. Sometimes they show it quite directly. They don’t understand how much that hurts. I lost my mother almost 13 years ago. It is a great loss for me. I think she would have been more like my loving husband and less like my dad and siblings. But I’ll never know.

    There are so many supportive people here at WordPress and on quality forums on the internet. I don’t know if you have a diagnosed mental illness or not, or just need a good ear to talk to, but I hope you will ask your parents to get you some help. At least a therapist. Or if no one else, believe me when I say that the school’s nurse or guidance counselor can also make a difference.

    Like

      1. Teenage years are very hard for many. You’re definitely not alone. I bet many of your friends can relate, even if they say they don’t. I had dark thoughts when I was your age. It was tough. But please try to see the good days and moments in them, if you can. And there are many wonderful years to come.

        Like

  2. This brought me memories when I was a sophomore in high school… but believe me it’s just a nightmare it’ll pass 😊 there are some things you me and a bunch of other people who will never know exactly why. My answer is “They just mad they ain’t you” period. 😊

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s